Yes, I'm content

I was surprised at the response to yesterday's post about why I won't date.  I think I had more hits on my blog yesterday that any other day.  Wow!!

After re-reading the first paragraph, I realized that I said that I wasn't content being single.  That isn't quite true.  I just have a feeling that I wasn't meant to be single for the rest of my life.  I guess it's not that I'm not content, it's just that I have a little bit of a nagging feeling that there will be someone in my life.

I am currently quite content and happy simply being a mom to my boys.  I'm trying to enjoy the good times with my guys like juggling oranges in the kitchen at 9 p.m. or snuggling with both boys in the morning since we are not in a hurry to be anywhere.  These small, precious moments bring me much joy, but it would be wonderful to find another adult to share these precious times with.  I miss when the kids say something funny, giving that knowing look to another grown up and trying to hold the laughter in.  I miss that when I am at the end of my rope, having someone there to share my frustrations with and to give me another opinion as to what to say or what to do with my kids.

I also miss sharing my thoughts and feelings with another adult and having someone sharing with me.  It's hard to be single, but at the same time, I MUST be content in my present state and wait on God's timing.  If I wasn't content, that would mean that I didn't have complete faith in God and His timing.  I am content because I have faith that I am currently doing what God wants me to do and that is raising the boys by myself.

Being single and raising two active young boys is tough.  Dealing with challenging behaviors and not having "backup" is hard.  Having to be both the nurturer and the disciplinarian all the time is tough.  I know that single parenting, while necessary in many cases, is definitely NOT God's perfect plan.  God intends for there to be two people, who by nature are wired differently, to be the two different roles in a child's life and to share the load of raising children.  One person doing both roles is not the "ideal" way to parent.  However,  God can do anything and I pray daily that He equips me with wisdom, patience, strength and love to be be the best mom I can be for my kids.

So, yes, I am content and extremely happy, but I also have a feeling and have faith that there will be more in my life.

Contentment is faith put into action.  I am content because I have faith.  I have faith because God has proven to me over and over again that He is in control of my life if I just have to trust in Him.

It's not easy, but it is worth it.  Instead of trying to manipulate the circumstances to try make my life work the way I think it should, I'm trying to trust daily in God's perfect plan in my life.

"Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary."  ~Isaiah 40:31