Part 2 of the great identity crisis

Why am I here??

What am I supposed to do??

Help!!!!


These three questions have been going through my mind and my prayer life over and over again.  I sometimes just say, "God, I really, really don't understand what you are doing?"  I was happy, content, had a fairly normal life and now, everything has been completely turned upside down.  WHY??????

I still haven't figured out the answer to that one, but I know that according to the Bible, ALL things work together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose. I know that I love God and I'm trying to figure out His purpose.

Here are some things that I know.

1.  My life is not an accident.  I am here for a reason.  I don't know what that reason is, but there is a very definite purpose for me being here and for the trials I've faced in my life.

2.  God's has been working in my life through my joys and trials, my successes and yes, even my failures.

3.  Someday, I will understand, so I must have faith.

I know that I know that I know that life has purpose and meaning.  Tonight, I was playing hide and seek with the boys and it hit me that in that moment, I was not meant to be anywhere else doing anything else.  I was having a joyful time with my precious kiddos.  In that instant my life had meaning.  As I sit here and type this blog entry, I'm feeling the same.  My life has real meaning.

I think when we get discouraged and don't understand why difficult circumstances happen in our lives, we can get bitter toward others or even toward God.  This type of bitterness is truly a hindrance in our ability to grow and make something positive out of our life.  Debbie Bryson, a pastor's wife that I've heard preach has said that bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die from it.  How true is that!!

I have to admit that over the past year, I have been extremely bitter.  I have let that bitterness fester and grow inside of me and I became a person that I really didn't like.  It has taken me months and much prayer to let go of that bitterness and to come to a place of true forgiveness and acceptance.

I forgive.  I forgive.  I forgive.  Please forgive me as well.  If I have ever hurt you or have done something that has caused pain.  I'm sorry.

I'm praying that now that I've let go of this bitterness, God can use me in the lives of others.

I am here to serve my God and my Creator.  I must accept my life as it is and pray for Him to mold me into the person He wants me to be.

Just like a potter molds clay into a vessel of beauty or purpose, I pray that God continues to mold me into who He wants me to be.

So,  why am I here?  I don't have a clue...

But, God knows and that's all I need to know.