He thinks I'm cute!!

There is never a dull moment at my house.  My boys keep me in stitches or make me want to pull my hair out most of the time.  Last night was one of those night's where I couldn't stop laughing.

I was cooking dinner and Danny saunters into the room, looks at me and says, "Hey there, darlin'!"  with his hands on his hips and one knee thrust out at me in a dapper looking way.  He gave me a wink and off he went.  I had all I could do not to burst out laughing.

Later that night, I put Danny to bed early because he was exhausted and Joey and I had some one on one time.  As I was putting him in bed and rubbing his back, he looked at me and said, "Mama, you are so cute.  Why don't you have a boyfriend or a husband?"  I was a little surprised and said, "I guess God isn't ready for me to have a boyfriend or husband, yet.  Maybe someday."  Joey then looked at me and said, "Well if you don't get busy soon and find one, I'll find one for you."  (That's a scary prospect considering Joey's first choice for me would probably be the skate guard at the roller rink.)  I told him that I was praying about finding a potential husband, but I would leave that choice up to God.  God would find the right person when it was time.

I found that statement was easy to say, but not so easy to believe.  To be honest, it's really, really hard to be single with two young boys.  I would love to find someone with whom I can share my life, but it has to be the right person for me and for the boys.  I'll also be honest when I say that I'm a little scared.  I've been through so much this past year, more than most people could possibly imagine.  To say that I'm a little hesitant to put my heart on my sleeve would be an understatement.  When you love, you risk.  I took a risk and got pretty beaten up and beaten down because of it.  I don't ever want to feel that type of pain again.

But, at the same time, to quote Leonardo DaVinci from the movie "Ever After", "A life without love is no life at all."  So here I am, scared, hesitant and hopeful.  One thing I do have is faith in God.  I am going to trust in Him to bring the right person to me.  In these days of E-Harmony and Match.com, I'm going to leave my match to the ultimate matchmaker.  God is truly my father and He loves me more than anything.  He wants only what's best for me and for the boys, so I will trust Him.  His plan for my life may not include a future spouse and I will have to trust that there is a reason for that.  Maybe He has planned for me to go to Africa to do missions work or maybe simply to devote my life to raising my amazing children.  I don't know what His plans are for me, but I do know that His plans for me are for good and not evil.  In Him, I have a future and a hope.



"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  ~Jeremiah 29:11