Adventures in Single Parenting: A Time to Remember

A year ago today my daddy died. I have been dreading this day for the longest time. I have been in denial about it. I have had people implore me to think of a way to commemorate it and if it weren't for my boys, I would have commemorated it by going back to bed and denying that this day ever had to exist. But, since it does exist, I had to think about how I was going to spend it. I really, really wanted to spend it with my boys and my Aunt Maggie at the place on the planet earth that meant the most to my dad. We went to our family camp. Let me explain how important this camp is to me and my family. I have spent at least a week every summer at this camp since I was an infant. My dad did the same. We both learned to swim here, we spent time with family here, we learned to waterski here, we learned to treat nature gently here, we gazed at an amazing night sky with millions of stars here and wondered about God here, we watched wildlife here, we learned to fish here and the most important lesson we learned here was how valuable family is and how family supports one another and how family is always there for each other.

I had several people tell me that I should bring pictures of my dad to camp, build a fire, talk about him and reminisce about his life today. I will be honest, that just didn't feel right to me. I came to the realization about a week ago as to what I needed to do today. I needed to go to my camp with the people that love me the most and just BE!! I needed to build new family memories with my kids. I needed to be at camp thinking about my Daddy and exactly what he meant to me. He was the most amazing dad a girl could have and I miss him so much every day. I feel like in many ways, I'm floundering in my life and my ability to be a good mom. I know if my dad was still here, he would be helping me and giving me advice on how to be a good parent. But, he is not here. I have to rely on all that he taught me and that is exactly what I am doing. Daddy died way to young, but he did leave me with the skills that I need to help my kids be amazing young men. That was his legacy to me. He taught me how to be a good parent.

Daddy, I love you and miss you so much. I wish you were here with me to still help me and give me advice, but you're not here. You did teach me how to be a good parent and I am trying with ever fiber of my being to be as good of a parent to Danny and Joey as you were to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I love you and I will be indebted to you forever for everything you gave to me. I pray I can be half as good of a parent to Danny and Joey as you were to me.