The Red Badge of Courage

I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.  Anyone who has ever raised boys knows that sometimes they don't know their own strength nor are they always aware of their surroundings.  Well, it finally happened tonight in my home.  One boy gave the other a bloody nose.  I actually feel very blessed that this is the first time this has happened.

Now before you jump to conclusions, it was a complete and total accident.  This was not done in anger or as an act of retaliation.  This was a complete mistake even though it probably could have been avoided.  Here is how it went down.  Joey was pretending he was a superhero beating up a bad guy.  Instead of punching a real bad guy, he was punching a pillow.  Danny was on the floor, oblivious to his surrounds playing cars.  He was playing right beside the pillow.  Yeah, you see it coming don't you. Danny rested his head on the pillow to play with the cars and Joey threw a punch at a bad guy which happened to be right where Danny's nose was currently resting.

Crunch!!!

Blood!!!  Danny did that type of silent scream where no sound comes out because it hurts so much he couldn't get a breath.  You moms and dads know it well.  It's the one where you will them to breathe and then you wait for the blood curdling scream on the other side.  He immediately ran over to me and put his bloody nose on my blue cashmere sweater.  Nice.

Joey's first reaction was to run away and then I bellowed at him to get some toilet paper to help stop the bleeding.  Joey ran in with paper towels which worked just as well.  I sat with Danny screaming on my lap, but I really, really wanted to run up and hug Joey.  I could tell that he felt as bad on the inside as Danny's nose did.  Joey then looked at me and said "No one cares about me" and ran off.  My rule as a mom is that when one child is in physical pain, the other who is in emotional pain needs to wait.

I calmed Danny down, held the tissue over his nose until it stopped and he complained that he couldn't breathe any longer.  When he had calmed down, I got him a popsicle and then headed upstairs to find Joey sitting on his bed sobbing.

I put my arms around him and hugged him and asked him how he was doing.  I asked him if he was scared and sad for his brother.  I told him that I knew he didn't mean to do it.  He looked at me and said, "I was more sad tonight when I punched Danny than I was when I went to the Principal's office this year."  He and I talked and I reassured him that I wasn't made at him and neither was Danny.  I did explain that he had to go tell his brother he was sorry even though it was an accident.  Admitting when he's wrong has always been tough on Joey.  I was so proud that he went downstairs and apologized and hugged him.  He told him how much he loved him.  Danny said, "That's okay,  I wuv you too bwover."

Now they are fine, they played happily, but a little more cautiously for the next hour and then went to bed in the same room together.  After Danny fell asleep tonight, Joey went over to him, put his hands on his nose gently and prayed for it to heal.  He then looked at me and asked if I was proud of him.  I told him that I was BLESSED.

I need to look to my kids as an example.  When someone hurts me either on purpose or inadvertently, I need to forgive and move on like they have.  All too often, I harbor resentment.  I need to move on quicker and I then need to pray for the person that I have wronged or the person that has wronged me.  Then I need get along with them and bless others through my words and actions.

Joey said to me tonight, "I love you more than cupcakes mom.  You're definitely sweeter than cupcakes."  Well, I think he's sweeter than that!!