Honey attracts flies better than vinegar

Last night, the boys fought and argued quite a bit.  I have to admit that I tried and tried to help them get along, but sometimes, you just have to let them work things out for themselves.

Joey has been grabbing things away from Danny a lot lately without asking first.  Actually, he's been doing this his whole life, but lately it's gotten worse.  Today, Danny had a toy that belonged to Joey.  Joey just grabbed it from Danny and then Danny pushed Joey to get the toy back.  That's when I got involved.  I took the toy, gave it back to Danny and told Joey to ask nicely for the toy.  When he asked if he could have the toy, Danny said "ya, sure" and handed the toy right over.  We've gone through this many, many times before, but it was like a lightbulb came on in Joey's head.  He then asked Danny if he could have a hug.  "Ya sure" was his reply.  He asked if Danny wanted to play with him, "Ya sure" he heard again.  I finally said to Joey, "When you're nice to someone, they'll be nice to you."

So at bedtime, Joey put this into practice.  He came downstairs about 10 minutes after I put him to bed and said, "Mama, you're the best mama in the world.  Can you come upstairs and fix my sheets?"  Apparently the cat was playing under his covers and messed up his bed.  How could I say no?  Once we got upstairs he said, "Mama, I'm hungry, can I have a cheesestick?"  My first answer was "No, it's bed time".  I expected him to get mad and grumpy with me and say something like "You don't love me."  Which has been a favorite saying lately.  But, instead, he said "That's okay, Mama, it's a long way downstairs and you're tired.  I can wait until morning."  How could I say no to that?  So, I went down stairs and got his cheesestick and came back upstairs.  "Mama, you're the best mom in the world.  Will you rub my back?  Please?"  I told him that I had work to do and he said, "I understand. Have a good night."  Sheesh!  How much more could a mom take?  So I rubbed his back, but I said, "Joey, did you see that you got everything you asked for because you had a wonderful attitude and you showed me how much you love me by being so kind to my feelings."  He then looked at me, smiled and said, "But it is true.  You are the best mom in the whole wide world."  I just about cried.  And then I asked, "Okay, where did the UFO go that stole my son and replaced him with the updated new and improved model?"  Joey just smiled.  I then pointed out that he had gotten his way every single time since he didn't argue and had nice words for me.  He again just smiled.

Now, he won't get away with this every time he's nice, but I wanted to reinforce how much better life is when you ARE nice.  I went to bed tonight with the feeling of "Yeah, he is gonna grow up and be an nice man."  That's always a good feeling when you're a mom!