Moving on

There is a famous passage in Ecclesiastes that was turned into a song by the Byrds in the mid 1960's that talks about there being a time for everything.  I remember my mother blasting this song as she cleaned the house when I was a child.  They Bible says this:

A Time for Everything
 ¹ There is a time for everything, 
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

At times time in my life, I find myself in a period of change -- again.  It seems that over the past 4 years, what I thought was my reality in life has been turned upside down.  Why?  This keeps coming back to me over and over again.  What is HE trying to teach me in all of these changes?  I know that sometimes, life just happens, but wow, how much change can one person face?

Deep down, I know where He is working in my life.  He is working on my biggest, number one fear and the one wall I have put up between my Creator and myself.  That is my trust in Him to provide and take care of me.  I need to have simple faith in my Creator and in NO ONE else.  

When I was a child, I remember begging my parents to have another baby.  I don't know if they couldn't have other children, but I think they both just only wanted one child.  There were some huge advantages to being an only child, but deep down, I also remember being terrified of being alone.  What would happen if my parents died? How would I deal with being by myself?

Then, that reality happened a year and a half ago...  Both of my parents were dead and not only that, but my marriage was destroyed.  And I was alone...  I was so blessed to have such amazing support from my extended family, friends and church family.  I am ashamed to say that I know now that I relied on these people more that I relied on God.  He should have been where I turned first, but I turned to the humans in my life more than I turned to Him.

Since April, God has truly been working in my life about trusting in Him alone.  He has been speaking to me about moving on in obedience and trust to Him.  I have yelled, kicked and screamed at Him.  How can I move away from the human support system that I have in place with my church family, but that's exactly what He's asking of me and He's made it abundantly clear that I need to trust Him first.

So, what this all means is that the boys and I will be attending a new church home.  I have loved my time at Calvary Chapel and cannot say enough about my church family there.  I have some incredible sisters and brothers in Christ that have gone above and beyond the call in supporting me through my trials these past two years.  Please know that God used you in such a powerful way in my life.  Your rewards in Heaven will be abundant!  Thank you!!

I have been in tears over this decision, but God has made it clear to me that it is time I step out in faith.  He has spoken to me from the Word, through His people and through circumstances to show me this, so please respect the work He is doing in my life.  At this point, I don't know why He is doing this, but I am truly trusting in Him.  I know that this is one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make.  I had no choice when my parents died and I had very little choice when my marriage ended.  This is a choice I'm making, but not lightly.

To all my Calvary family, please know how much I love you all and please stay in touch with me.  I hope that just because I no longer attend CC, it doesn't mean you all won't still be an important part of my life.  Again, my biggest fear about being alone is coming through here.  I'm trusting that the Lord will keep the people in my life that should be in my life.  So, please stay in touch and I will try to as well.

I am excited as to what the Lord has in store for me in the future.  I will continue to pray for you all.

Many Blessings!

~Judi