Hot Shower -- Fully Clothed

I really didn't know what to title this entry, but I had to share with you all what happened tonight because it was one of those true parenting moments that you and your children will never forget.  Let me just preface this by saying my children are amazing, but lately life has been really, really tough for them and they are in a lot of pain, especially Joey.  Danny is pretty laid back and takes things in stride and he is also pretty young.  Joey is my sensitive, emotional child.  Everything with him is drama.  He gets angry, sad, mad, passionate and frustrated very easily, but he also is needs an abundance of love and affection to feel secure.  He is the child that screams out "You hate me!" one minute and "I love you so much Mama" the next.  He truly wears his heart on his sleeve.  These traits will serve him well in the future, but right now it is just exhausting dealing with constant drama.  I have a feeling he would be dramatic even if he had a "normal" life, but for the last year, his life has been nothing but drama.  As much as I try to shield it from him, the reality is that his mom and dad are getting divorced and two of his grandparents that he loved dearly are no longer here with him.  That's a lot to bear at a very young age.

I have a tendency to lose my patience with him.  I am working very, very hard not to raise my voice or let my own frustrations and emotions come into the picture when I'm working with him on his attitude or behavior.  When you're a single parent, you can't just go out and take a walk when you're frustrated, although I have locked myself in the bathroom or hid in the basement a time or two.  Tonight, Joey had another angry spell where he gets mad and just spews venom.  I try to address this behavior the best I can, but it can be maddening as he knows how to push my every button.  Joey was in the shower and he needed help with his hair.  I know he's six, but it works best if I condition his hair.  I have a pretty heavy duty conditioner I use as his hair can get dry, but if it gets in his eyes, it hurts.  As I was trying to help him wash his hair, he kept moving away from me.  I tried to get closer to him but he moved away.  I noticed my shirt started to get wet and I said, "Joey, move back over here so I don't get wet."  He then said to me "That's what happens when you are mean to me." Now at this point, I don't have a clue what I've done to be mean to him except he wasn't happy he had to come home from a friends house at dinner time.  I knew he was just trying to push my buttons and I wasn't going to give in, so I said "NO, this is what happens when I love you."  At that point, I stepped into the shower fully clothed and hugged him.  He was shocked.  He said "Mama, your clothes are on," and I said "yes they are because you're upset, you need a hug and I love you, so I got in the shower."  He laughed and said, "you must REALLY love me."  I said, "yes I do!"  We then giggled and laughed at how silly I looked.  He started spraying me with the shower hose and we were cracking up.

At that point, Danny came up over the stairs and into the bathroom and said, "Hey guys, whatchya doin?"  We told him we were taking a shower and asked if he wanted to get in.  He did, but not before I made him take off his shoes.  Joey then asked if he could go get some clothes on, silly boy.  So I told him he could put the clothes on that he wore today.  When we were done, they asked if they could take their showers in their clothes every night.  We'll have to see about that.

I learned a valuable lesson today.  Sometimes people just need you to give them what they need no matter what it costs you either in convenience or materialistically.  I got soaked and had to go change into dry clothes.  It cost me about 10 extra minutes of my evening by the time I took the shower and had to go get dry clothes on and put my wet clothes in the wash, but what my boys, especially Joey gained from the experience was invaluable.  Joey found out one more time that I love him and am willing to do crazy things for him to prove my love.  I think he's more valuable than my physical comfort.  I know him well enough to know when he needs a hug and last, his mom is fun and has a sense of humor.

The rest of the night went smoothly.  No major dramas and both boys went right to sleep.  I know that I was a little silly tonight, but I know someday Joey will tell his kids about when he was 6 and his mom got in the shower fully dressed with him.  He'll tell them that I was a little crazy, but I loved him so much I was willing to take a hot shower fully clothed just so he could have a hug on a hard day.  That's how much his mom loved him and someday hopefully he'll remember to show his kids that same type of love.